just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
