I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
