I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
