Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
