It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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