I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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