no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
