Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
