how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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