I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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