You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
