just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
They took my balls.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
