you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize