I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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