I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
