I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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