Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
