I hate your face
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize