i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
