remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
