Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
