thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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