take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
organizing the empties. That sober.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
