I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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