end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
well you can't waste a boner
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
