it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no. you can't hotbox the world.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
