Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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