I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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