I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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