I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We have started to decorate penises.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
