I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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