You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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