Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
