can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
