is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
