If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize