last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
