my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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