i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
