I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
