My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
