Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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