We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
