This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
