Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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