Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
