My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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