Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
