Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
