Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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