It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
