My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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