We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
