non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
