3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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