That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
