I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize