She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize