**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
