and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
