One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize