hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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