I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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